It’s no big secret that marriages are challenging and don’t always work out. Frankly, not all partnerships are meant to be, and sometimes, all you have left to do is start afresh.
That’s exactly what happened to u/Suspicious_Pair_4940 – however, his past is not willing to let him go, and he’s now facing some difficulties with his own child. The man was recently invited to her wedding, but the woman neglected to do the same for his new wife and kids, which led to a conflict.
More info: Reddit
Man refuses to go to daughter’s wedding as she didn’t invite his family
Image credits: abugajny (not the actual image)
He said he was “very hurt” as everyone else was invited, including her mom’s boyfriend and his sons
Image credits: Olezzo (not the actual image)
Image credits: Leah Kelley (not the actual image)
Image source: u/Suspicious_Pair_4940
“AITA for telling my daughter that I won’t be attending her wedding?” – this father took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental groups to ask its members if it was wrong of him to reject his daughter’s wedding invitation because she didn’t invite his wife and kids. The post managed to garner over 12K upvotes as well as 3.5K comments discussing the situation.
Did you know that according to this piece from Wilkinson & Finkbeiner, a family law firm in San Diego County, researchers estimate that 41% of all first marriages end in divorce? Well, the author of today’s story also happens to fall under this category – however, there were bigger things that followed the separation than he perhaps might’ve anticipated.
The thing is, the Redditor’s daughter is getting married soon, yet she didn’t invite the man’s wife or their kids to the wedding. Naturally, he was very hurt and taken aback, so he stated that since his family wasn’t welcome, he shouldn’t be either. The soon-to-be bride was furious and allegedly called him crying, calling him a jerk for doing this as she couldn’t come to terms with the fact that her own father wasn’t going to walk her down the aisle.
The netizen then revealed that his offspring was a “happy child” until she was 13, when he and her mother divorced. It goes without saying that she was devastated, which is why the family tried it all, including therapy. The man met his now-wife four years later, which sort of served as a second blow, as the woman had always hoped that her parents would reunite. But despite every attempt to forge at least some semblance of a connection, she never grew to like the man’s new partner.
Moreover, concerning the wedding, everyone else was invited, including her mom’s new boyfriend and his sons. The woman also told her dad that she was free to invite whoever she wanted; he agreed and even supported her decision – however, the man also noted that by the same logic, shouldn’t he also be free to decline the invitation?
He also noted that despite his best efforts, his daughter never learned to accept his new wife, which is why he made the decision to reject the invitation
Image credits: StudioVK (not the actual image)
Later on, the netizen also provided some additional comments on the story. He first acknowledged the verdict and thanked his fellow community members for weighing in on the situation and determining that, in this case, nobody is a jerk. The man believed he was doing the right thing by giving his daughter space – however, he truly wishes he knew how to combat this delicate matter.
He revealed that his ex told him she didn’t love him anymore and wanted to see other people, so they filed for a divorce and decided not to tell their daughter the reason, presumably for protection purposes. The woman changed her mind a year later and wanted to get back together, but the man’s love and trust had already faded. Close ones urged him to give their relationship a second chance for the sake of their child – however, the man opposed it, leaving him to be the scapegoat. The Redditor also stated that he always tried to show his daughter that she was his number one priority and, with time, even unveiled the actual truth behind his and her mother’s separation, hoping she would understand. But that never happened, and the bond he had dreamed of never came to life.
The man noted that he didn’t regret going against everyone’s advice regarding his old marriage and that he’s also going to do the same now and not attend his daughter’s wedding. She had made no attempt to establish any kind of relationship at all. She refused to meet her two brothers and even now isn’t very interested in him going; instead, she simply seems to want her father to lead her down the aisle since it would be humiliating otherwise.
What do you think about this situation? Would you have done things differently if you were in the author’s shoes?
Fellow community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation
ADVERTIsem*nT
FAQs
“Thank you so much for the invitation, I really appreciate it and it means a great deal.” "I would love to attend, but I have prior commitments on that date." "We would love to celebrate with you but unfortunately, we can't make it work." "I've given it a lot of thought, and unfortunately, we won't be able to attend."
How do you say you can't attend a wedding? ›
Simple messages to decline a wedding invitation
- Thank you for thinking of me, I really appreciate the invitation and I'll be thinking of you on your big day.
- Congratulations, I wish I could be there with you to celebrate properly, but due to other commitments, I'm going to have to celebrate with you another time.
“While I'd love to be with you on your special day, I'm sadly unable to attend. I will be there in spirit and cannot wait to see photos!” “Regretfully we are unable to attend. Best wishes on your special day!”
How do you tell your family you dont want a wedding? ›
One of the quickest ways to get your friends and family to understand why you're eloping, is to tell them. Why is this so important to you? Explain why you don't feel as though a traditional wedding would best reflect your relationship. Only you know what your 'why' is, so tap into this and let people know.
How do you decline attending a wedding? ›
A phone call is the most personal, gracious way to decline a wedding invitation. If you're close to the couple or you think they'll be hurt that you cannot attend, you should pick up the phone. Give a brief explanation of why you cannot attend, and apologize.
How do you politely drop out of a wedding? ›
You don't want the tone to come off as all about you! I am regretfully reaching out to let you know that we need to change our RSVP to your wedding.
Is it rude not to attend a wedding? ›
If you're unable to attend, that's ok, it isn't rude to not go to a wedding. But whatever your decision, you need to let the couple know by RSVPing on time. Are you worried you don't have the financial means to attend the wedding? Or maybe you simply have a packed calendar and can't take the time off of work.
How to politely tell someone you can t come to their wedding? ›
Convey how important they are to you, acknowledge your friendship and your disappointment to not be able to attend the festivities, and let them know that you support them 100% throughout the planning process, their marriage, and beyond.
How do you decline being in someone's wedding? ›
While it'd be a kind gesture, if you're not feeling up for it, simply tell them so in the nicest way possible. Say you're happy you two have started a friendship and you'd love to be a part of the day, but you don't think you could give it your all as a wedding party member right now.
How do I say I am not available politely? ›
Examples for declining meetings
- I can't attend this meeting, but I'd like to chat with you about this. ...
- I know our schedules are all very busy. ...
- Apologies, but I'm not available for this meeting. ...
- I'm sorry I'm not available at the time you requested. ...
- I don't think I'm the right person to attend this meeting.
What you can say to them: “As much as we would love to have everyone we know at our big day, our venue has a capacity and unfortunately, we cannot invite everyone and are unable to have you attend. I hope you can understand.” It's important to be direct that you are talking about them not being able to attend.
How do you say no to a girl family for marriage? ›
If possible, try to be truthful and give them the exact reasons in a polite and humble way, don't keep them in the dark. In cases, it may even help them to find a better match. Don't keep them wondering what went wrong. There is no easy way, but this is the right thing to do.
Is it OK to say no to a wedding? ›
If you're not close with the couple, you're not obligated to attend a wedding. Here are some situations when it's totally fine to send your regrets. We live in a world of constant social pressure and are practically programmed to say “yes” to pretty much any event that pops up on our calendar.
How do you cancel attending a wedding? ›
The sooner you let the couple know you will not be in attendance, the better. Generally, it's best to call the couple to let them know you won't be able to attend after all.
How do you gracefully call off a wedding? ›
Here are a few examples that you can use to come up with one that's right for you: "We regret to inform you that the wedding of X & X is canceled. We kindly request that you not contact us and ask questions as we go through this difficult time. We love our family and friends very much but request privacy at this time.
How will you apologize if you are not able to attend the wedding ceremony of your friend? ›
I'm sorry I couldn't be there in person, but please know that I'm sending you all my love and best wishes for a long and happy marriage. Even though I can't be there to celebrate with you, I want you both to know how much I adore you and wish you a lifetime of joy, love, and adventure.
