A soon-to-be bride went viral after revealing she uninvited her brother, father, uncle and cousin from her wedding after she says they took a prank too far. The internet seems to agree.
The anonymous woman, known only as u/Throwawayfamily976, posted about her situation to Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 17,800 upvotes and 4,440 comments from concerned users.
If putting together a wedding isn't stressful enough, experts say dealing with parents and family members who dislike a significant other can put a strain on not only the romantic relationship but also can cross several boundaries.
According to Carder Stout, a therapist based in California, parents often have the idea that without their help, their child would not be supported. He told Goop that it is important to "create a foundation in your own life" to demonstrate to your parents that you can thrive and be independent without their control.
Stout said that setting healthy parental boundaries can help parents recognize if they are crossing a line–even if their intentions aren't malicious.
In the post titled "AITA for uninviting my cousin, brother, uncle and dad to my wedding over a prank?" the bride, 22, explained that she grew up in a family where the men like to tease and prank each other.
She said that ever since she and her fiancé Tim, 23, got engaged, her brother, cousin, dad and uncle have joked about "running some 'tests'" to find out what "type" of man he is.
The bride said they've forced Tim to play chess four times in a row and even went as far as to secretly slash his tires to see if he would try to fix them himself or be a "lazy" guy and call for help.
"They'd asked him questions like what joke he'd like to tell his future MIL, his opinions on abortion, jesus, gender equality etc," the post explained. "They also tested his fishing and hunting skills, overwhelmed him with hypothetical scenarios to test his decision making abilities/mental strength."
She explained that Tim has asthma but that the men in her family think he is "making excuses" and call him "slow" and "soft." In the post, she said she told her family to stop but her dad replied that it was "typical stuff men challenge each other with" and that she was "ruining the fun."
"Last week, They took Tim on a 3 day trip and hid his inhaler, he left them and returned in 7hrs and told me," she wrote. "I was seething after he said they admitted to hiding it as a 'challenge,' I exploded on them when they returned."
She said her cousin asked if "little timmy" ran to "tattle" before she yelled and uninvited all four of them from her and Tim's wedding.
Her brother "freaked out" and said it was all just a prank and they planned on giving back Tim's inhaler. Her dad said they would all apologize if she insisted, but that Tim would "lose the little respect" that the men had gained for him. He also said that in their eyes, Tim will always be the "soft college kid" who is not up for a challenge.
In the post, the bride said she called all of them "awful" and then left. She said her cousin is "begging" that they talk, but her uncle hasn't said anything.
"But dad is so mad and now he's getting mom involved to get me to reconsider this decision," the post read. "But I keep refusing to re invite them. Mom is saying I'm exaggerating and should let bygones be bygones and not let this ruin my relationship with my family. AITA? For making it my hill to die on or am I exaggerating?"
Thousands of users quickly flocked to the comments section of the bride's post to provide their support and call out her family for bullying Tim.
"In my family we tease each other and play jokes and trust me this is not what we do! Pranking is meant to be HARMLESS fun. None of these are harmless," one user wrote.
The user also explained that as someone with asthma, they know the feeling one gets when they need their inhaler and that she would not wish it on anyone.
"They shouldn't come. Their 'pranks' went from wildly inappropriate to outright dangerous," another user wrote. "They hid an inhaler from someone with asthma. Not only would I keep them disinvited, I'd go no contact completely."
The bride replied in the comments that Tim no longer feels comfortable around the men in her family, but he does not want to drive a wedge between her and her family.
Some users said the bride wasn't in the wrong for uninviting her family, but that she probably should have taken action much earlier.
"NTA- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, and uncle from you're [sic] wedding," one user said. "YTA- for making your husband put up with their antics for so long."
"The contact would have ceased after the slashed tires for me," another added.
Newsweek reached out to u/Throwawayfamily976 but did not receive comment in time for publication.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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